My dear sweet husband went on a Fidget Spinner bender after having a few drinks. This is me explaining it to a friend.
ME: “If Devin buys another Fidget Spinner, I think it’s grounds for divorce.
Friend: “How many does he have?”
Me: “He told me he bought 7 but they seem to just keep coming.”
Friend: “7? WTF. I want one. Maybe he needed an extra one for his dong.”
Me: ” I meant to bring you one when we had dinner the other night. Devin claims he “forgot”. I think he didn’t want to part with it.”
Friend: “So he really doesn’t love me.”
ME: “He just loves Fidget Spinners more.”
Me: “Don’t feel bad, I don’t even have my own spinner.”
Friend: “Wow. He doesn’t even love you. But 7 for himself. Amazing.”
Me: “He claims he was drunk when he purchased them. It’s so annoying to think you are getting a package and it’s your husbands 6th fidget spinner.”
Friend: “Screwed twice by a drunk Devin.”
Me: “I’m going to buy 7 dildos and be like, “What…I was drunk! …Wait, are fidget spinner’s dildos? Jesus. Now I’m confused.”
Friend: “If you do get 7 dildos can I at least have one of those?”
Me: “Sure. Next dinner party you will either get a fidget spinner or dildo.”
Friend: “It’s like Christmas!”