I love texting his friends pretending to be him. I basically have three running themes: inspirational quotes, fart medicine/fart cancer, and his love of the show Bones (which he has never seen).
Here are some examples:
Me (with husbands phone): “Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you’ll end up among the stars.”
Me: Sorry man, meant to send that to myself. I’ve been trying to get myself pumped every morning. You should try it.
Me: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Just let that marinate for a while. You’ll thank me later.
Husband: “Can you text Chris and tell him we will be about 15 minutes late.”
Me: Sorry man, the pharmacy was fresh out of my fart medicine. So it looks like we’ll be about 15 minutes late.
Chris: Fart medicine?
Me: Yeah, for my fart cancer. I guess my butt farts are so gross that my butt got fart cancer. It’s treatable but I have to stay away from beans.
Me: ALERT: The sexual tension between Bones and Booth has reached an all time high.
Friend: You should really be locking your phone.
Me: The same way Bones locked her heart to Booths the first 6 seasons.
Friend: Lock your phone & get your wife help.