Ways to answer the question “What should we do today?” When you have toddlers.
Ways NOT to answer:
- “I don’t know.” —Not Helpful.
- “I don’t know, I’m just happy to spend time with you.” —Cute but not fucking helpful.
- “No television.” —Fuck off.
- “Why do we have to do something? Can’t we just be in the moment.” —No. Toddlers are Satan and without a plan they smell weakness and will make you play itsy bisty spider for 12 hours.
- “Go out to eat somewhere that isn’t fast food or Friendlys*.”– I would rather eat glass. It’s cheaper and feels easier. *See Friendlys post
- “The beach.” —I know it’s suppose to be relaxing but going to the beach with a 1 year and a 3 year old is basically the hunger games. I’m just hoping we all come out alive.
Things to say:
- An age appropriate playground. Preferably one that doesn’t have a bucket swing, so I don’t have stand there pushing the whole time or face the wrath of my surprisingly rage-filled daughter who can suddenly fight like rabid dog when I try to take her out.
- A indoor playground. Where there are seats that I can mostly ignore my children.
- A swim lesson. Where I don’t have to get into a swim suit. I can just wave every 12 minutes.
- Basically anywhere I can pay someone else to watch my children.
- Or my most favorite. You stay here, I’ll take them somewhere.