“What should we do today?”

Ways to answer the question “What should we do today?” When you have toddlers.

Ways NOT to answer:

  1. “I don’t know.” —Not Helpful.
  2. “I don’t know, I’m just happy to spend time with you.” —Cute but not fucking helpful.
  3. “No television.” —Fuck off.
  4. “Why do we have to do something? Can’t we just be in the moment.” —No. Toddlers are Satan and without a plan they smell weakness and will make you play itsy bisty spider for 12 hours.
  5. “Go out to eat somewhere that isn’t fast food or Friendlys*.”– I would rather eat glass. It’s cheaper and feels easier.  *See Friendlys post
  6. “The beach.” —I know it’s suppose to be relaxing but going to the beach with a 1 year and  a 3 year old is basically the hunger games. I’m just hoping we all come out alive.

Things to say:

  1. An age appropriate playground. Preferably one that doesn’t have a bucket swing, so I don’t have stand there pushing the whole time or face the wrath of my surprisingly rage-filled daughter who can suddenly fight like rabid dog when I try to take her out.
  2. A indoor playground. Where there are seats that I can mostly ignore my children.
  3. A swim lesson. Where I don’t have to get into a swim suit. I can just wave every 12 minutes.
  4. Basically anywhere I can pay someone else to watch my children.
  5. Or my most favorite. You stay here, I’ll take them somewhere.

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