Places not to poop. A group text.

AA: There was a poop the shower at my gym. I go to Equinox for fuck’s sake.

Me: Noooooo. That hasn’t even happened at┬ámy Work Out World.

DD: At a place like Equinox it was probably fancy body cream.

AA: Where can I get more of this all natural exfoliant?

BB: This is why I don’t go the gym.

AA: Gag Reflexing is the new ab workout.

Me: I have a million questions for this person. If I could interview anyone in the world, it wouldn’t be Hillary Clinton or Valadmir Putin, it would be fancy gym pooper.

DD: I shit the bed last year so I can’t really judge this person. But if I’m going to shit myself at least I have the decency to do it in my bed next to my husband.

Me: Right!! You should teach etiquette lessons to this lady. Lesson one: Where to shit.

DD: In Bed. In your underwear. Or your son’s diaper.

Me: If she answers the gym shower. She is wrong.

Me: My gym does not have this problem, though they did recently have to put up a sign that says “No Shaving” on the sauna. Followed by a “No Eating” sign.

AA: It sounds like your interview schedule is very rapidly filling up. Shitting in the shower is much more reasonable than shaving or eating in the sauna.

AA: Did I say something wrong?

Me: Call me old fashioned but I think a shower shit is the most unreasonable.

Me: It’s basically the only thing I learned in middle school.



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