AA: There was a poop the shower at my gym. I go to Equinox for fuck’s sake.
Me: Noooooo. That hasn’t even happened at my Work Out World.
DD: At a place like Equinox it was probably fancy body cream.
AA: Where can I get more of this all natural exfoliant?
BB: This is why I don’t go the gym.
AA: Gag Reflexing is the new ab workout.
Me: I have a million questions for this person. If I could interview anyone in the world, it wouldn’t be Hillary Clinton or Valadmir Putin, it would be fancy gym pooper.
DD: I shit the bed last year so I can’t really judge this person. But if I’m going to shit myself at least I have the decency to do it in my bed next to my husband.
Me: Right!! You should teach etiquette lessons to this lady. Lesson one: Where to shit.
DD: In Bed. In your underwear. Or your son’s diaper.
Me: If she answers the gym shower. She is wrong.
Me: My gym does not have this problem, though they did recently have to put up a sign that says “No Shaving” on the sauna. Followed by a “No Eating” sign.
AA: It sounds like your interview schedule is very rapidly filling up. Shitting in the shower is much more reasonable than shaving or eating in the sauna.
AA: Did I say something wrong?
Me: Call me old fashioned but I think a shower shit is the most unreasonable.
Me: It’s basically the only thing I learned in middle school.