Mom confession.

I lost my daughter in Kohls yesterday. For a FULL ten minutes. She likes to play hide and seek without telling anyone. Not for the joy of being found but humilation and terror hiding causes. A store clerk saw me yelling her name and assisted. She asked what she was wearing and I could not for the life of me remember. I only knew that it probably had dried yogurt & fresh mom tears on it.

Finally after ten minutes she was found. I was relieved and angry and embarressed. I was determined to not let this be a total loss though, so I continued shopping.

Then this exchange happened.

The store clerk came up to me and asked where “the other one was?” I point to my son, standing 10 feet away from me. She then says the most annoying thing I have ever heard. “Good. You don’t want to lose that one to.” My rage hit a level that was……new. How DARE this lady. I stood, frozen, GLARING.  All I could muster was a “Yeah, Obviously.” Obviously I don’t like losing my children. I didn’t birth them, feed and clothes them so I could lose them in a fucking Kohls of all places. I didn’t breastfeed for a year so I could set them free in a discount chain store. Run Free my child! Forever enjoy the jelly bean mix & match sales!

Seriously, if I’m going to WANT to lose my children it will be at a Nordstroms or Barneys. So people will say things like, “Shame Deirdre misplaced her children (again) but look at her! Shopping at a mid to high range store!”

I know I should cut this employee some slack. She probably doesn’t have kids and doesn’t understand the emotions that go into losing your kid. It was scary and for a moment made me feel like a incompetent mom. So when these moments happen: try compassion, not judgment. I don’t know a mother who hasn’t briefly lost their kid. We are human raising tiny humans who at a moments notice will run and hide and scare the shit out of you and then be found and smile and wipe boogers on you. It’s insanity.

We live in a constant state of insanity and sometimes the inmates run the asylum. If your one of those people who think or even worse say, “Not me, I would never, my kids are too scared, too disciplined, or my new favorite: you don’t want to lose your other kid too.” Word of advice: shut your mouth. Seriously. I wish I had something more profound or dignified. I don’t. Please just know no one wants to hear that. On my best day I don’t want hear that, on a day that I just spent  10 minutes frantically searching for my child in Kohls, I will MURDER* your face.

*Or write a strongly worded blog post, that you will never, ever read.

 

7 thoughts on “Mom confession.”

  1. Lost my daughter in the botanical gardens when she was 4. Technically, I had entrusted her into the care of a friends mother while the friend and I attended to another matter close by. (My friends mother had said, “you guys go on ahead and [do whatever it was we were doing] and I’ll watch the kids!” So, about 10 minutes later she comes running to me, red faced and frantic, and says, “I lost her!” BUT WAIT, it gets better… She then says, “But, I found her clothes!” And my brain actually wobbled. Like, I felt that the world had just snapped in and out of time. I couldn’t actually wrap my mind around what she had just said.
    We soon found her running, nude, in and out of the bushes of the botanical garden. Like a little, mischievous Cupid, minus the harp and swaddle. Apparently, she had jumped into a fountain and what else do you do when your clothes get wet? Of course, you take them off so they can dry! Duh. Anyway, she’s fine, we didn’t get kicked out of the gardens and now I have a silly story to tell. It happens.

    1. That story is hilarious (after the fact!). The image of her standing there nude, happy as a clam, made my day. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING!!!!!

  2. oh my goodness, i would have LOST my mind on the store clerk after she made the comment about losing your other kid. hahaha, don’t mess with a momma who just lost her little one! it is a scary cary thing! “shut your mouth” indeed! lol thank you for sharing

  3. Gah, it’s the WORST when you’re already in a super stressful situation and then someone’s makes a pretty ignorant, insensitive comment like the employee did. Sometimes dealing with other people’s opinions on your parenting is more difficult than the actual parenting. :/

  4. Ugh! One of my biggest fears, and I know the day is coming. I would have been so angry with that employee. How rude of them to comment like that! I would have reported them to management. I worked In retail for a long time and bit my tongue more times than I can count in order to keep my job.

  5. Argh that is infuriating! I can’t imagine losing a kid even for a minute and the last thing you need is having someone making “smart” comments. Some poeople really need some EQ training.

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