I lost my daughter in Kohls yesterday. For a FULL ten minutes. She likes to play hide and seek without telling anyone. Not for the joy of being found but humilation and terror hiding causes. A store clerk saw me yelling her name and assisted. She asked what she was wearing and I could not for the life of me remember. I only knew that it probably had dried yogurt & fresh mom tears on it.
Finally after ten minutes she was found. I was relieved and angry and embarressed. I was determined to not let this be a total loss though, so I continued shopping.
Then this exchange happened.
The store clerk came up to me and asked where “the other one was?” I point to my son, standing 10 feet away from me. She then says the most annoying thing I have ever heard. “Good. You don’t want to lose that one to.” My rage hit a level that was……new. How DARE this lady. I stood, frozen, GLARING. All I could muster was a “Yeah, Obviously.” Obviously I don’t like losing my children. I didn’t birth them, feed and clothes them so I could lose them in a fucking Kohls of all places. I didn’t breastfeed for a year so I could set them free in a discount chain store. Run Free my child! Forever enjoy the jelly bean mix & match sales!
Seriously, if I’m going to WANT to lose my children it will be at a Nordstroms or Barneys. So people will say things like, “Shame Deirdre misplaced her children (again) but look at her! Shopping at a mid to high range store!”
I know I should cut this employee some slack. She probably doesn’t have kids and doesn’t understand the emotions that go into losing your kid. It was scary and for a moment made me feel like a incompetent mom. So when these moments happen: try compassion, not judgment. I don’t know a mother who hasn’t briefly lost their kid. We are human raising tiny humans who at a moments notice will run and hide and scare the shit out of you and then be found and smile and wipe boogers on you. It’s insanity.
We live in a constant state of insanity and sometimes the inmates run the asylum. If your one of those people who think or even worse say, “Not me, I would never, my kids are too scared, too disciplined, or my new favorite: you don’t want to lose your other kid too.” Word of advice: shut your mouth. Seriously. I wish I had something more profound or dignified. I don’t. Please just know no one wants to hear that. On my best day I don’t want hear that, on a day that I just spent 10 minutes frantically searching for my child in Kohls, I will MURDER* your face.
*Or write a strongly worded blog post, that you will never, ever read.