Meeting her milestones.

Last summer I was at a splash park with my one year old daughter. I was minding my own business when a woman approached and OPENED with this line:

Woman: “Hi. Your daughter is cute. How early was she?”

Me: Hi. Thanks……

My Brain: Early to what… the park? Early as in born prematurely? What’s happening?

I decide to simply ignore the question as my brain could not figure out what the actual fuck she was talking about.

Woman: “I do beach body.” Talks about her gym & fitness routine.

Me: “Cool….”

My brain: “How can I make this stop. Think brain. Should I fall? Does falling ever work? If I fell would have to make it look like it hurt? Or would I just look crazy.”

As I’m debating if falling is a viable option for ending this conversation, she asks AGAIN.

Woman: “How many months early was she?”

Me: “You mean premature? None. None months early. Right on time.”

Woman: “Well it looks like she’s meeting all her milestones.”

Me: “Yeah…because she’s not premature, she’s just a normal sized baby. So…goodbye forever? “

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *