My date with Joe Biden.

So I got my husband tickets and a meet & greet to see Joe Biden. It was WAY more then I ever spend but I really thought it was a once-in-a-lifetime thing.

Well I was wrong. The idea of having awkward/forced conversation felt too weird for Deb’s and he asked if I would go in his place. WHICH OF COURSE I WOULD. I love Joe Biden and forcing people to take pictures with me.

The days leading up to what became (in my head) my date with Joe Biden were good.  Until the night before the event I woke up with life changing…….hemorrhoids. Like could barely walk hemorrhoids. Now I had to meet the former Vice president smelling like preparation H and cheap white wine.

The night comes and my husband drops me off like a teenager going to her first concert and I immediately feel out of place because everyone is clearly a very serious person and a very rich person. These are people clearly without hemorrhoids and with dates. I quickly text Devin to decide when I can start yelling, “You’re not better then me.”

I decide against yelling anything and patiently wait to meet Joe Biden and honestly it was just as awkward as I hoped it would be. He calls me a ‘pretty young lady’ and I yell/ talked about how I ‘stole’ my hands tickets and thanked him for his service. I’m mindful not to bring up my hemorrhoids as a sign of respect but also fearful because I basically have Tourettes around people I admire. Luckily I get through it without barfing out anything too stupid and get a weirdo picture with me clearly in love and pretending to be on date.

So after the meet and greet I meet husband for a drink and plan to return to the show when the talk begins. I do not do that. Instead I show up 20 minutes late, sitting front row and basically interrupt Tom Brokaw talking about his cancer diagnosis. They give a fantastic interview about life, cancer, politics, and how we move forward. Really interesting and profound stuff. I am totally moved by everything he’s saying and when he says something particularly poignant about immigration (and also because I TOTALLY forget where I am) I do my Wheezy “YEAHHHHH!” yell…loudly and proudly.

I blame the hemorrhoids and the third glass of wine. Tom Brokaw actually made eye contact with me as I am sure he has never heard that yell before.

Everyone else avoided eye contact with me the rest of the night.

So the talk ends and I get my broken butt up and as I’m walking out who walks by me but JOE FREAKIN KENNEDY and all these dumbos in line are just going to pretend a hot ginger Kennedy isn’t RIGHT THERE. So as if I haven’t really owned the night enough I yell, “Hey Joe Kennedy! I see you!”

That was my date with Joe Biden and kind of Joe Kennedy. I regret nothing.

Also here are my pictures from the night and some of my favorite texts.

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